honestly yeah as a jew i do understand cultural christianity better than you cause a) i see it from the outside and b) i think about it more because it’s a harmful force that i have to navigate. same way black people understand whiteness way better than white people do, and trans people understand the system of coercive gender assignment way better than cis people do
there is, in fact, a “platonic explanation for this” if you’re not a coward
its so fun to see the diversity of tags on this ranging from “they’re literally just standing next to each other” to “deep bonds dont have to be romantic/sexual!” to “yeah friends can fuck nasty, platonically. coward.” we’re all so correct, there are, in fact, a million platonic explanations for this
in my dream world that i live in sometimes we stop saying things like “NOBODY is gross or dirty!!!” And start saying things like “being gross or dirty isn’t a moral flaw or failing”
not brushing your teeth for months at a time is gross. It’s not a moral failing and does not make you a bad person.
being told I wasn’t gross online by posts by well meaning people when i was a very depressed young teenager for not showering for weeks did not make me feel better, because i felt gross and dirty. What would have actually helped was engaging with the reality (that it was a little gross, what i was doing/unable to do) but that it did not make me a bad person undeserving of help. “Youre not gross and (so) you deserve help!” Okay well i feel gross. This cant be aimed at me.
it also goes against your own brain- everyone thinks things are gross sometimes & to say Nothing is gross rings false. You can be gross and be loveable. Grossness is not failure. Grossness is not a flaw. Gross is not a moral thing. It’s just what it is and has no effect on personhood and i think preaching “having things about you that are dirty or gross does not make someone lesser or unworthy or failed” over “nothing is gross” will carry us a lot further
works for me, anyways. maybe it won’t for you, but it’s helped me a lot more than anything else has.
I fucking despise when a middle schooler is like “I hate being 13.” and everyone is like “Oh honey, it only gets worse. You don’t know the meaning of struggle.” like no. Let’s be honest. 12-15 is a really difficult age to be. It’s usually when you start waking up to how fucked up the world around you is but you’re still so young and immature that you can’t begin to fix it. It’s a time of horrible change, mentally, physically, prospective-wise.
Personally, it was when the onset of my mental illness developed. My parents’ marriage dissolved in a series of drunk sometimes violent arguments, I was stuck in the house with them, helpless to leave. I would rather kill myself than be 13 again in all honesty. The best part of being 13/14 is that you’ll never be 13/14 again.
idk man being violently hateful/resentful towards children for existing is weird. it’s legitimately just weird.
the amount of parties/field trips i’ve had to help with it’s like…. they’re just kids. they have energy and want someone to listen to them. they’re existing and laughing and having fun. they do not know how to handle everything or do everything. because they are kids. they have their whole lives ahead of them. they love to share things. sorry that makes you disgusted i guess. were you never five. did you not deserve patience and kindness
